Neltarploopafkopbimguncib Arntarpfitcim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome donkey.

Neltarploopafkopbimguncib Arntarpfitcim created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Neltarploopafkopbimguncib Arntarpfitcim, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Neltarploopafkopbimguncib Arntarpfitcim, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Neltarploopafkopbimguncib Arntarpfitcim's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Neltarploopafkopbimguncib Arntarpfitcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about voles.

2. Neltarploopafkopbimguncib Arntarpfitcim must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never think about planets.