Nuttjabcudlist is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tiresome faun.

Nuttjabcudlist created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttjabcudlist, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nuttjabcudlist, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nuttjabcudlist's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Nuttjabcudlist's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Nuttjabcudlist on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never go into green rooms.