Ranfonpigvabdossxenton is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sapient guinea pig.

Ranfonpigvabdossxenton created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ranfonpigvabdossxenton, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ranfonpigvabdossxenton, it will ignore you.

Ranfonpigvabdossxenton's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ranfonpigvabdossxenton's Holy Commandments

1. Ranfonpigvabdossxenton must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always help sick goats.

3. Do not kill squirrels.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never mention tortoises.