Vonwegsin is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, astonishing dog.

Vonwegsin created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonwegsin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonwegsin, he will be mildly annoyed.

Vonwegsin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Vonwegsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of hamsters.

2. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never feed figs to doves while wearing gray kilts.

5. Do not drink alcohol.