Zigwonpak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody centaur.

Zigwonpak created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Zigwonpak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zigwonpak, he will turn you into a duck.

Zigwonpak's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Zigwonpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Zigwonpak.

3. Do not eat lemons.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Fast once a month.