Nilzagran is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless gerbil.

Nilzagran created snails five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilzagran, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nilzagran, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nilzagran's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Nilzagran's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. You must love Nilzagran.

3. You must never eat onions.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.