Fobjamkar is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unfair otter.

Fobjamkar created the Small Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fobjamkar, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fobjamkar, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fobjamkar's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fobjamkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near ants.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not hurt shrews.

5. Always stare at clouds.