Zoggubgep Nabsatsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a large, temperamental gorilla.

Zoggubgep Nabsatsaf created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zoggubgep Nabsatsaf, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zoggubgep Nabsatsaf, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zoggubgep Nabsatsaf's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Zoggubgep Nabsatsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Retreat if eight whales approach from the east.

4. Never wear black trousers.

5. Run away from fawn moths, for they are unholy.