Vedvadfum is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered alligator.

Vedvadfum created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedvadfum, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vedvadfum, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vedvadfum's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Vedvadfum's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vedvadfum.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never feed bananas to cats while wearing indigo rings.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Do not cook food in pots.