Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat is a god.

She takes the form of a small, vain goblin.

Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. You must love Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat.

4. Erect six copper sculptures of Quartgudpop Nuttpibwat on top of important buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.