Nurtbomfarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, two-faced shrew.

Nurtbomfarn created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbomfarn, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurtbomfarn, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nurtbomfarn's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nurtbomfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Respect your elders.