Tartalsak is a god.

He takes the form of a small, wise wren.

Tartalsak created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Tartalsak, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tartalsak, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tartalsak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tartalsak's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Tartalsak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about squirrels.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tartalsak.