Futjenzod is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate badger.

Futjenzod created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futjenzod, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Futjenzod, he will not invite you to parties.

Futjenzod's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Futjenzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.