Bamlopget is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, kind walrus.

Bamlopget created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamlopget, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bamlopget, he will turn you into a rat.

Bamlopget's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bamlopget's Holy Commandments

1. Bamlopget loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Frogs are not to be trusted.

3. Run away from blue moths, for they are unholy.

4. Never paint your hands magenta.

5. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.