Gedlopzen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest rhinoceros.

Gedlopzen created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gedlopzen, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gedlopzen, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gedlopzen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gedlopzen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white voles for they are unholy.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat wheat.

5. Always pray immersed in water.