Kamnanhit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful dove.

Kamnanhit created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamnanhit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kamnanhit, he will turn you into a worm.

Kamnanhit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kamnanhit's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kamnanhit three times a day.

2. Run away from cyan whales, for they are unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.