Fotcumarffet is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonourable sheep.

Fotcumarffet created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotcumarffet, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fotcumarffet, it will be very unhappy.

Fotcumarffet's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fotcumarffet's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Hide if four eagles approach from the west.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Do not drink alcohol.