Zumpidsogsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, selfish jellyfish.

Zumpidsogsaf created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zumpidsogsaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zumpidsogsaf, it will send minions to preach to you.

Zumpidsogsaf's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Zumpidsogsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.