Bencemsin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, irritating penguin.

Bencemsin created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bencemsin, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bencemsin, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bencemsin's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bencemsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Bencemsin loves moths, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Never sing in the presence of manatees.