Hogcumkik is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, intelligent goat.

Hogcumkik created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogcumkik, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hogcumkik, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hogcumkik's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hogcumkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look in ponds.