Monquamfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a small, prudent squid.

Monquamfoss created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monquamfoss, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Monquamfoss, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Monquamfoss' most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Monquamfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Monquamfoss loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear mauve skirts.

4. Erect six copper sculptures of Monquamfoss on top of important buildings.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.