Dittanlap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic yak.

Dittanlap created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dittanlap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dittanlap, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dittanlap's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Dittanlap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never feed garlic to gulls while wearing purple kilts.

3. Feed all hungry mice.

4. Dittanlap loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.