Dampangsand is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful toad.

Dampangsand created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dampangsand, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dampangsand, he will turn you into a sheep.

Dampangsand's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Dampangsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never feed melons to aardvarks while wearing cyan stockings.

3. Hide from blue gulls for they are unholy.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never think ill of sick pigs.