Jadzottomzin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome gerbil.

Jadzottomzin created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadzottomzin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jadzottomzin, he will laugh at you.

Jadzottomzin's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jadzottomzin's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jadzottomzin.

2. Run away from turquoise monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Jadzottomzin's name in vain.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.