Tinkomflap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody dugong.

Tinkomflap created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinkomflap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tinkomflap, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tinkomflap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Tinkomflap's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three great tits approach from the north.

2. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Tinkomflap on top of all buildings.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.