Dogfidpinpom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring goblin.

Dogfidpinpom created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogfidpinpom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dogfidpinpom, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dogfidpinpom's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Dogfidpinpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about asteroids.