Titcinlab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy lion.

Titcinlab created the Black Eye Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Titcinlab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Titcinlab, it will turn you into a puffin.

Titcinlab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Titcinlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick bats.

2. Feed all hungry sheep.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Always take life seriously.