Tonlikbess is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, contented shark.

Tonlikbess created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonlikbess, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tonlikbess, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tonlikbess' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tonlikbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Tonlikbess loves dogs, so they must be respected.