Saggetwotlipjapleg is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome salamander.

Saggetwotlipjapleg created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Saggetwotlipjapleg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Saggetwotlipjapleg, she will come to you in dreams.

Saggetwotlipjapleg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Saggetwotlipjapleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange skirts.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always obey Saggetwotlipjapleg's priests.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always help monkeys.