Libkinkem Quamyokbab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unthoughtful gorilla.

Libkinkem Quamyokbab created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Libkinkem Quamyokbab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Libkinkem Quamyokbab, it will turn you into a slug.

Libkinkem Quamyokbab's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Libkinkem Quamyokbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck brown.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.