Gupfoddibnartcussjen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, confident chicken.

Gupfoddibnartcussjen created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupfoddibnartcussjen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gupfoddibnartcussjen, she will turn you into a snail.

Gupfoddibnartcussjen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gupfoddibnartcussjen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Gupfoddibnartcussjen on top of all buildings.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Do not kill doves.

5. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.