Funarmmil is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental tapir.

Funarmmil created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Funarmmil, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Funarmmil, it will turn you into a puffin.

Funarmmil's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Funarmmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

4. Worship no other gods but Funarmmil.

5. Do not kill ducks.