Metbidcid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, resourceful bat.

Metbidcid created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Metbidcid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Metbidcid, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Metbidcid's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Metbidcid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five tapirs approach from the east.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never talk about black holes.