Negpakbonkcim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, amazing owl.

Negpakbonkcim created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negpakbonkcim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Negpakbonkcim, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Negpakbonkcim's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Negpakbonkcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never wear orange coats.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Negpakbonkcim on top of all buildings.

4. Always help mice in need.

5. Do not commit murder.