Ingmigwon is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, fussy walrus.

Ingmigwon created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ingmigwon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ingmigwon, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Ingmigwon's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ingmigwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never sing near monkeys.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never hurt snails.