Pidnutbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered gorilla.

Pidnutbiss created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidnutbiss, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pidnutbiss, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pidnutbiss' most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Pidnutbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue porpoises for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Run away if six rats approach from the west.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.