Hivxenpang is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent centipede.

Hivxenpang created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivxenpang, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hivxenpang, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hivxenpang's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Hivxenpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of geese.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never feed melons to great tits while wearing brown corsets.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.