Yattlabzod Fabbaptam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ruthless armadillo.

Yattlabzod Fabbaptam created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Yattlabzod Fabbaptam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yattlabzod Fabbaptam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Yattlabzod Fabbaptam's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yattlabzod Fabbaptam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Yattlabzod Fabbaptam must be the most important thing in your life.