Artarmbest is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic otter.

Artarmbest created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artarmbest, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Artarmbest, it will turn you into a puffin.

Artarmbest's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Artarmbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Artarmbest.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.