Stragtapaf is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unselfish yak.

Stragtapaf created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragtapaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stragtapaf, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Stragtapaf's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Stragtapaf's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Stragtapaf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Retreat if three turtles approach from the north.

5. Erect five titanium sculptures of Stragtapaf on top of important buildings.