Loopneglan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic troll.

Loopneglan created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopneglan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Loopneglan, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Loopneglan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Loopneglan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not take Loopneglan's name in vain.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not hurt doves.