Cetzenneg is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic aardvark.

Cetzenneg created the Sombrero Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetzenneg, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetzenneg, it will throw large rocks at you.

Cetzenneg's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cetzenneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Never feed pineapples to manatees while wearing brown jumpers.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about eagles.