Gepbum is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciful ant.

Gepbum created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepbum, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepbum, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gepbum's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gepbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gepbum on top of all buildings.

3. Never mention doves.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never paint your back turquoise.