Flapratcen is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy crane.

Flapratcen created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flapratcen, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flapratcen, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flapratcen's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Flapratcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mice.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not kill snails.

5. Do not dye your hair green.