Dublimfoss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm aardvark.

Dublimfoss created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Dublimfoss, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dublimfoss, he will torture you forever.

Dublimfoss' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dublimfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think ill of sick birds.

3. Never mention ants.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dublimfoss.