Febnilarp is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy hydra.

Febnilarp created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Febnilarp, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Febnilarp, he will be very sad.

Febnilarp's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Febnilarp's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Febnilarp nine times a day.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Respect your elders.