Gunvonjan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, proud snake.

Gunvonjan created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunvonjan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gunvonjan, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gunvonjan's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gunvonjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Worship no other gods but Gunvonjan.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. You must love Gunvonjan.