Nartrenquafxuckgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy lizard.

Nartrenquafxuckgeb created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartrenquafxuckgeb, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nartrenquafxuckgeb, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nartrenquafxuckgeb's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Nartrenquafxuckgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Nartrenquafxuckgeb must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed lemons to goats while wearing fawn boots.

5. Never play with disobedient children.