Gepbarngess is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, kind deer.

Gepbarngess created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepbarngess, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gepbarngess, she will turn you into a rock.

Gepbarngess' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gepbarngess' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think ill of sick horses.

4. Gepbarngess must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never think about amino acids.