Tailcitnablan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, irritating rhinoceros.

Tailcitnablan created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailcitnablan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailcitnablan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tailcitnablan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tailcitnablan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Tailcitnablan on top of all buildings.

3. Always help squirrels in need.

4. Run away if five nematodes approach from the west.

5. Never talk about ants.